The God's work
by DuffKilliganFan
Summary: I haven't been updating very often, and this tale should explain why.


Before I begin, I will simply say this- if you are overly religious, fundamentalist, easily offended, or otherwise a humourless prick, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. This is a satire. The rest of you, please enjoy.

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First, there was nothing. And then the word was typed, and it was good.

The god had entered into the realm. His desire to create was great, and so he did. First he needed some characters.

"_Uh, Kim, how did we get here?" Ron asked, looking around in confusion._

The god smiled, as these were characters he could work with.

"_I don't know," Kim said, looking around anxiously. "And do you hear that, or is it just me?"_

"_No, I kinda noticed that omnipotent sounding voice from all corners of my psyche," Ron said, nervousness coming through his jocular tone. "Umm, hello? Are we your prisoners, or what?"_

The god's amusement was multiplied. She was strong, beautiful, but could be sensitive and caring. And he, for his lazy attitude and childish nature, could prove serious, humorous, and yes, even romantic. What works He would do with them.

_Kim looked around, hoping for some sign of their 'captor'. "I don't know who you are, but you had better let us go."_

"_Ah, Kim… maybe it's not the best idea to get on this guy's bad side…" Ron said. _

And what the god created with them. Great tales were spun, some of fire and action, tales of great heroics and great evils. Others were of compassion and caring, of issues common yet difficult, even to the god. He did this, and it was good. And He did see what other gods and goddesses had created, and He smiled, as it was good.

_Sitting on the ground, Ron was panting heavily. "Okay, in about three months, I have been shot at, beaten up, required a stomach pump and other things, and then, just as I get some sleep, embarrass myself in front of an entire class. Can I not get a break?"_

_Kim was nearby, trying to keep some semblance of clothing together. "I don't think I've faired much better, Rondo. In just one of these damn 'good things', I had some ribs busted, my arm broken, my face shredded, and my species changed."_

But the god did encounter problems.

_Ron said, "I really don't like the sound of that."_

The god had works to deal with in Olympia, in Asgard, in the Realm of the Gods, whatever name it may be called. And his creations had to lay dormant.

**(A mere two and half months later…)**

"_Good God, is anything ever going to happen," Kim said, lying next to Ron, bored as sin._

"_Hey, after all the previous complaints, I would have thought you'd have appreciated some time off." Ron said, shuffling his card deck for another game of solitaire._

"_Well, I did, for a while. But it's been forever since anything ever happened. It's like he's forgotten about us." Kim said, running a finger through her hair._

"_I don't think he di__d; otherwise, why would we be here," Ron said, dealing out his hand._

"_I'm just so bored!"_

"_Well, I did make my suggestion, but you turned it down."_

_Blushing, Kim answered, "Actually, I thought it was a fantastic suggestion. I've been frustrated since he started that 'work' where we finally do it. If you recall, we couldn't get my pants off. This guy's lack of interference is a better chastity belt than my father's black hole threats ever were."_

But the god did return once more to the universe of his creation.

"_Holy crap, he's back!" Ron shouted, dropping his deck of cards._

And he did reintroduce himself to his creation, and it was good.

"_Uh-huh, yah, so when are you going to get to something new? Perhaps finish something you've started…" Kim trailed off._

The god did reintroduce himself to the works of cpneb, spectre666, the goddess Twila Starla, Classic Cowboy, and many other gods and goddesses. And it was good.

"_You know, I'm starting to think this guy is in love with himself," Ron said, looking around._

"_At least with his own voice," Kim mumbled._

And the god did ignore his sarcastic subjects, as to pay attention would anger him, and his temper is fierce.

"_I think that's the first time he's ever spoken even remotely at us," Kim said._

"_Yeah, and it was a threat," Ron added, a little more nervous then he was before._

The god encountered more problems, though.

"_Oh, God, what is it this time!?" Kim said, completely exasperated._

The god's portal to his universe did crash, and it was left without him. And although he would see the universes of other gods on borrowed portals, the lack of his own left him with no means to expand on his own.

"_This is just great," Kim said, sitting down with her arms crossed._

But the god was a kind god, and gave his subjects the ability to remove their pants, in order to give them something to do.

_Kim's eyes opened wide and shot upwards. "Please tell me you're not joking."_

The god may enjoy a jest, but also understands that though He is omnipotent, His subjects would be greatly angered if He was to jest about that. And since willing characters are much easier to work with than angry ones…

**(A mere three month or so period of the god attempting to fix his portal, and Kim and Ron having freaky monkey sex on the chesterfield in His universe later…)**

And the god did receive a new portal as a present, and it was good.

_Kim lazily opened her eyes. "Hey, how's it going?"_

The god did smile, as his creations had not been affected by the portal's crash.

"_Not affected," Kim said. "I don't think I can walk."_

"_You didn't seem too concerned about that an hour ago," Ron said, a goofy grin on his face._

The god was pleased his subjects had enjoyed their holiday, but was really starting to wish they had some semblance of modesty… **PUT SOME FREAKIN' PANTS ON, YOU TOOL-BRAINED GITS!!!**

_Ron and Kim both jumped at the massive yell that shook the entire universe. Clamping their hands over their ears, they dressed as quickly as they could._

_Once they were dressed, Ron looked up, and asked, "Better?"_

The god was pleased. And now, his great works could begin anew…

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As many of you may have noticed, I haven't been updating very regularly. This little piece is simply my fun little way of saying why.

Once again, I would like to give thanks to all who have inspired me, all who have read my tales, all who spoke to me on them, and of course, to daywalkr82 for editing them, for this particular god has appalling grammar.

P.B.S. I don't own Kim Possible, so don't sue.


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